Tuesday 28 June 2011

A more innocent time

I watched Brief Encounter last night. It is a delightful 80 minute story of a married woman falling in love with a man she meets at a train station.

But with films such as Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon running the international box office these days, here's an artists impression of what Brief Encounter might look like if it were remade today:


It would be 3 hours long and the two leads would be played by giant robots. AWESOME.

Tuesday 21 June 2011

Green Lantern? More like Green Bland-ern. Get it!?

Okay, so I've been very wrong about every superhero movie this year so far. First off, I predicted Thor would be the worst thing since Spiderman 3. Then I foresaw Green Lantern being the BEST film of the year. And as for Captain America, all bets are off.

Whilst Green Lantern isn't completely terrible, it doesn't help itself by being mediocre in nearly every department. It feels like a very paint by numbers superhero flick, with no real hint of originality or desire to 'break the mold'.


The main fault lies with the script, which I presume was written in an afternoon (inbetween Neighbours and Hollywoaks). Characters are clunkily thrown together at pivotal moments, the romance is so drab it's not even worth mentioning, and all of the characters are so unbelievably stupid. For example, a sophisticated (and seemingly immortal) alien race decide to embrace the power of fear in order to destroy it, EVEN THOUGH one of their peers did exactly the same thing and ended up trying to take over the entire galaxy. Yes, very sophisticated.

It's a real shame because the film does have potential. It's got Ryan Reynolds (badass), a great superhero, and some awesome action scenes. Even the Fear Vs. Will dynamic is an interesting concept. But modern audiences just aren't stupid enough to care for a superhero simply because they make the odd quirky one-liner.

Must try harder, Hollywood.

Tuesday 14 June 2011

A Shameless Love Letter to Kristen Wiig

If you've seen Bridesmaids advertised on a bus or on TV, you might think that the marketing is suggesting that the film is going to be a second-rate 'The Hangover for girls'. And in some ways you'd be right. It relies upon the same crass breakdowns of gender relationships and stereotypes that The Hangover uses. But if you think this film is going be second-rate, you're sadly mistaken.

Sure, its got some gender exclusive jokes ('aren't men crap in bed' and 'women really like weddings'), but for the most part I found myself laughing harder than most of the females in the audience. Why? I LOVE Kristen Wiig.

Ever since her catty appearance in Knocked Up, I have developed a serious comedy crush on this woman. From her appearance in Flight of the Conchords (as the awesomely named Brabra) to 2010's underrated Whip It, Wiig always manages to steal the show with ease. And its no different in Bridesmaids. Her ability to convey subtle annoyances with just a single wince of the mouth, but also be hilariously outrageous (attacking a giant cookie for instance) testifies to what a true comedic genius she is.

Plus, she's like mega hot.

MARRY ME.



Monday 6 June 2011

I like to get deep sometimes and think about Einstein


I'm not going to pretend I know much about spirituality or Eastern philosophies. But every so often (especially after witnessing a Terrence Malick film) I find myself asking the big one: "Life. What's that all about, eh!?"

With Tree of Life on the verge of release in the UK, I thought I'd share some of my favourite philosophical scenes. Enjoy and ponder.

There is no spoon - The Matrix



We all need mirrors - Memento (Spoiler)



We are not enemies, but friends - American History X (Spoiler)



The Dude Abides - The Big Lebowski


Life's Waiting Room - Waking Life