Tuesday, 30 November 2010

Mo More Mos

Vital Statistics

Name: Zed
From: Zardoz
Actor: Sean Connery
MeMOrable Quote: "Stay close to me - inside my aura!"
Style of Mo: Trucker/Pornstar
Mo Maintenance: I can't quite believe this film exists either, but there it is. This photo is probably the closest thing we'll get to seeing a full body Mo.
Mo-rating: 10/10
Best MOment: The Penis is Evil
(read comments for added amusement)

Monday, 29 November 2010

Dustin Mo-man

Vital Statistics

Name: Captain Hook
From: Hook
Actor: Dustin Hoffman
MeMOrable Quote: "What would the world be like without Captain Hook?"
Style of Mo: Connoisseur
Mo Maintenance: Possibly the most well-kept pirate facial hair in all of fiction.
Mo-rating: 9/10
Best MOment: A Grand Introduction

John Travolting

Vital Statistics

Name: Ryder
From: The Taking of Pelham 123
Actor: John Travolta
MeMOrable Quote: "He sounds sexy. He would've been my bitch in prison."
Style of Mo: Homosexual Trucker
Mo Maintenance: Better than his facial hair from From Paris With Love, but not much better.
Mo-rating: 6/10
Best MOment: Haven't seen the movie so here's Grease

Mo Money for Lucas

Vital Statistics

Name: Mutt Williams

From: Indianna Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls
Actor: Shia LeBeouf
MeMOrable Quote:
"Get on, Gramps!"
Style of Mo: Bum fluff
Mo Maintenance: Not really a Mo, more of an optical illusion; is it there, is it not there? Just one of the many mysteries surrounding this awful film.
Mo-rating: 5/10 (few points for effort)
Best MOment: CGI ridden fight scene

Don't Look Mo

Vital Statistics

Name: John Baxter
From: Don't Look Now
Actor: Donald Sutherland
MeMOrable Quote: "Nothing is what it seems."
Style of Mo: Undercover Brother
Mo Maintenance: What makes this movie so sinister? Ghostly apparitions, or Donald's Mo? Tough call.
Mo-rating: 7/10
Best MOment: THAT ending
(massive spoiler alert!)

Tom's Hard-as-nails Mo

Vital Statistics

Name: Charles Bronson
From: Bronson
Actor: Tom Hardy
MeMOrable Quote: “My name’s Charles Bronson. And all my life, I wanted to be famous. I knew I was made for better things. I had a calling. I just didn’t know what as. I wasn’t singing. Can’t fuckin act. Running out of choices really, don’t we?”
Style of Mo: Connoisseur
Mo Maintenance: The Monopoly Man ain't got nothin on this bad boy.
Mo-rating: 9/10
Best MOment: You just pissed on a gypsy

Sunday, 28 November 2010

The American

Why so serious?

I'm normally adverse to most kind of thrillers these days. Ever since Bourne's shown up on the scene, everyone thinks spies and assassins should look like average joes but secretly be emotionless killing machines. Even Bond's latest reincarnation is sticking to the formula (but I'll let them have Casino Royale).

The American looked no different, with a humourless assassin (Clooney) hiding out in a generic looking European village. And with this I was ready to hate the film, but half way through I involuntarily became emotionally invested in The American. I can only put this down to the film's reluctance to play along with the stereotypical thiller rules: the kills are messy, the romance is shallow but believable, and the protagonist is morally questionable.

It almost certainly has it flaws; we never quite see underneath Clooney's mask - who is this man? Why is he incapable of trust? Why the butterfly fetish? It just leaves too many questions, making the film feel unsatisfying for the most part. I also think marketing this film as a Bourne-a-like might do the film more harm than good, as the action is fairly limited and unglorified.

But yes, I liked it.

Tuesday, 23 November 2010

Up in sMOke

Vital Statistics

Name: Pedro de Pacas
From: Up in Smoke
Actor: Cheech Marin
MeMOrable Quote: Man: You wanna get high, man? Pedro: Does Howdy Doody got wooden Balls, man?
Style of Mo: Gringo
Mo Maintenance: The Mo of a generation of stoners.
Mo-rating: 8/10
Best MOment: ..I think we're parked..

Monday, 22 November 2010

Classic Mo

Vital Statistics

Name: The Lone Prospector
From: The Gold Rush
Actor: Charlie Chaplin
MeMOrable Quote: ...
Style of Mo: The Chaplin
Mo Maintenance: This is more than just a Mo, it's an icon.
Mo-rating: 10/10
Best MOment: Boot dinner

Friday, 19 November 2010

Super Mo Troopers

Vital Statistics

Name: Thorny
From: Super Troopers
Actor: Jay Chandrasekhar
MeMOrable Quote: "Littering and... littering and... littering and smokin' the reefer."
Style of Mo: Undercover Brother
Mo Maintenance: (pun alert) There's 3 other glorious Mo's in this film, but this wins by a nose.
Mo-rating: 8/10
Best MOment: You boys like Mexico!?

Mo than a feeling

Vital Statistics

Name: Bobby
From: Adventureland
Actor: Bill Hader
MeMOrable Quote: "Brennan, you been toking up? You been drinking drugs?"
Style of Mo: Major
Mo Maintenance: "Bill Hader's mustache had its own trailer, actually. It was the most difficult person on the set." Greg Mottola, director of Adventureland
Mo-rating: 8/10

Thursday, 18 November 2010


Vital Statistics

Name: Machete Cortez
From: Machete
Actor: Danny Trejo
MeMOrable Quote: (Not technically from this character, or even this movie, but it's too brilliant to ignore)"Are you a Mexican, or a Mexican't?"
Style of Mo: Undercover Brother
Mo Maintenance: You just f*cked with the wrong Mo
Mo-rating: 9/10
Best MOment: The Fake Trailer

Wednesday, 17 November 2010

But sometimes there's a man, sometimes, there's a mo.

Vital Statistics

Name: The Stranger
From: The Big Lebowski
Actor: Sam Elliot
MeMOrable Quote: "Mr. Lebowski, he called himself 'The Dude'. Now, 'Dude' - that's a name no one would self-apply where I come from. But then there was a lot about the Dude that didn't make a whole lot of sense."
Style of Mo: Gringo
Mo Maintenance: The Mo deserves a mother flippin' Oscar
Mo-rating: 10/10
Best MOment: The Dude Abides

Tuesday, 16 November 2010

Gimme Mo, Gimme Gimme Mo

Vital Statistics

Name: White Goodman
From: Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
Actor: Ben Stiller
MeMOrable Quote: "Here at Globo Gym we're better than you, and we know it."
Style of Mo: Jihad Jack
Mo Maintenance: The Mo alone somehow makes Stiller twice as funny.
Mo-rating: 9/10
Best MOment: White tries to impress Kate

Monday, 15 November 2010

Mo Wars

Vital Statistics

Name: Lando Calrissian
From: Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
Actor: Billy Dee Williams
MeMOrable Quote: [to Leia] "You look absolutely beautiful. You truly belong here with us among the clouds."
Style of Mo: Undercover Brother
Mo Maintenance: Despite his betrayal, this Mo is one smooth operator.
Mo-rating: 7/10
Best MOment: It's Lando, Bitch

Bad taste Mo

Vital Statistics

Name: Adolf Hitler
From: Downfall
Actor: Bruno Ganz
MeMOrable Quote: "Scheisse!"
Style of Mo: Chaplin
Mo Maintenance: Beautifully maintained. Few minus points for the whole World War 2 thing.
Mo-rating: 6/10
Best MOment: Yes, one of those parodies

Sunday, 14 November 2010

sMOkey and the Bandit

Vital Statistics

Name: Bandit
From: Smokey and the Bandit
Actor: Burt Reynolds
MeMOrable Quote: "For the good old American lifestyle: For the money, for the glory, and for the fun... mostly for the money."
Style of Mo: Undercover Brother
Mo Maintenance: Burt Reynolds = walking mustache. Not technically a good thing.
Mo-rating: 7/10
Best MOment:
Old trailers are funny

Friday, 12 November 2010


Vital Statistics

Name: Chopper Read
From: Chopper
Actor: Eric Bana
MeMOrable Quote: "I'm just a bloody normal bloke. A normal bloke who likes a bit of torture."
Style of Mo: Trucker
Mo Maintenance: One badass Mo. And what a beautiful smile.
Mo-rating: 8/10
Best MOment: 20 Seconds

Thursday, 11 November 2010

MO Bother, Where Art Thou?

Vital Statistics

Name: Ulysses Everett McGill
From: O Brother, Where Art Thou?
Actor: George Clooney
MeMOrable Quote: "A woman is the most fiendish instrument of torture ever devised to bedevil the days of man."
Style of Mo: After Eight
Mo Maintenance: Trim, but lacking volume. Extra points for being the Cloon though.
Mo-rating: 7/10
Best MOment: The Soggy Bottom Boys

Wednesday, 10 November 2010

Ain't Mo stoppin' us now...

Vital Statistics

Name: Bill the Butcher
From: Gangs of New York
Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis
MeMOrable Quote: "Mulberry Street... and Worth... Cross and Orange... and Little Water. Each of the Five Points is a finger. When I close my hand it becomes a fist. And, if I wish, I can turn it against you."
Style of Mo: Connoisseur
Mo Maintenance: I can't decide what makes Bill the Butcher so damn watchable; Day-Lewis' acting, or his peach of Mo. Either way, a fine tash indeed.
Mo-rating: 10/10
Best MOment: Battle Banter

Tuesday, 9 November 2010

Let's keep MOving

Vital Statistics

Name: Wyatt Earp
From: Tombstone
Actor: Kurt Russell
MeMOrable Quote: "You gonna do somethin'? Or are you just gonna stand there and bleed? "
Style of Mo: Gringo
Mo Maintenance: Tidy yet manly. Unlike Val Kilmer's.
Mo-rating: 9/10
Best MOment: Bitch Slap

Monday, 8 November 2010

A Mo a Day...

In celebration of the glorious fund-raising/excuse to grow amusing facial hair month of Movember, I will be posting a legendary Mo in the history of cinema every day until December. (And I know we're already 8 days into November, I'm just not very quick on the get-up.)

I will be welcoming suggestions, because I dare say I can keep this running for 22 days.

To start us off...

Vital Statistics

Name: Ron Burgundy
From: Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
Actor: Will Ferrell
MeMOrable Quote: "You're a real hooker. I'm gonna slap you in public."
Style of Mo: Business Man
Mo Maintenance: Very good. Must use some kind of moustache comb.
Mo-rating: 8/10
Best MOment: The Newscaster Fight

Saturday, 6 November 2010

Why you should be excited about 127 Hours

After Trainspotting exploded onto the scene way back in '96, Danny Boyle's subsequent career was destined to be a disappointment. However, despite a slight blip in 2000 with The Beach, Boyle has continued to pleasantly surprise audiences and critics by consistently churning out unique genre-bending films. Particularly in recent years, Boyle's career has surpassed even that of his previous fame, with big box office hits such as (the criminally underrated) Sunshine and (the criminally overrated) Slumdog Millionaire.

Not a bad C.V.

2 years after Slumdog's success, Boyle is back with another feelgood movie, although I think this one might actually deserve it's inevitable praise. Why? Let's break it down, MC Hammer style.
  1. James Franco is the next James Dean: His pretty-boy looks might mean certain people (morons) won't take him seriously as an actor. But this boy has talent. Just watch Milk.

  2. It's based on a true story... and sticks to it: Unlike most 'based on a true story' films around these days *ahemthesocialnetworkahem*, this film at least attempts to portray the actual events.

  3. Viewers fainted during it's premier: Not technically something it should be boasting about, but it must mean the film is engrossing enough to have the audience believe in it's gruesome finale.

  4. Looks fairly similar to Into the Wild: One of my favourite movies OF ALL TIME.

  5. The trailer looks aces:

Go see it basically.

Tuesday, 2 November 2010

Due Date

It wouldn't be fair to call Due Date a rip-off, but it would be fair to say it could easily be mistaken for a remake of John Hughes' classic comedy Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. The comedy is a little darker, and the soundtrack is a little cooler, but all the main components are there: Odd couple are forced to take a road trip across America together. There's ups and downs, fist fights, emotional breakdowns, and hilaaaaarious misunderstandings.

If you're expecting another The Hangover, you'll be disappointed. Despite Zach Galifinakhfsfhskgbjgdfbddis playing EXACTLY the same character, the tone of the film is completely different. The Hangover was a fairly guilt-free laugh-a-minute kinda film, whereas Due Date is a little more patient and, at times, a little misdirected with it's comedy. There's a moment where Robert Downing Jr. intentionally punches a kid in the stomach, which is bound to cause some rather nervous laughter from cinema audiences.

Whilst it's not a bad film - it has it's genuinely sweet and funny moments - there's too much anger and violence. Where Todd Philips thought he might be doing 'black comedy', just comes across as a bit sadistic and hateful. Steve Martin will be rolling over in his grave [of a career].