Tuesday, 30 November 2010

Mo More Mos


Vital Statistics

Name: Zed
From: Zardoz
Actor: Sean Connery
MeMOrable Quote: "Stay close to me - inside my aura!"
Style of Mo: Trucker/Pornstar
Mo Maintenance: I can't quite believe this film exists either, but there it is. This photo is probably the closest thing we'll get to seeing a full body Mo.
Mo-rating: 10/10
Best MOment: The Penis is Evil
(read comments for added amusement)

Monday, 29 November 2010

Dustin Mo-man


Vital Statistics

Name: Captain Hook
From: Hook
Actor: Dustin Hoffman
MeMOrable Quote: "What would the world be like without Captain Hook?"
Style of Mo: Connoisseur
Mo Maintenance: Possibly the most well-kept pirate facial hair in all of fiction.
Mo-rating: 9/10
Best MOment: A Grand Introduction

John Travolting


Vital Statistics

Name: Ryder
From: The Taking of Pelham 123
Actor: John Travolta
MeMOrable Quote: "He sounds sexy. He would've been my bitch in prison."
Style of Mo: Homosexual Trucker
Mo Maintenance: Better than his facial hair from From Paris With Love, but not much better.
Mo-rating: 6/10
Best MOment: Haven't seen the movie so here's Grease

Mo Money for Lucas


Vital Statistics

Name: Mutt Williams

From: Indianna Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls
Actor: Shia LeBeouf
MeMOrable Quote:
"Get on, Gramps!"
Style of Mo: Bum fluff
Mo Maintenance: Not really a Mo, more of an optical illusion; is it there, is it not there? Just one of the many mysteries surrounding this awful film.
Mo-rating: 5/10 (few points for effort)
Best MOment: CGI ridden fight scene

Don't Look Mo


Vital Statistics

Name: John Baxter
From: Don't Look Now
Actor: Donald Sutherland
MeMOrable Quote: "Nothing is what it seems."
Style of Mo: Undercover Brother
Mo Maintenance: What makes this movie so sinister? Ghostly apparitions, or Donald's Mo? Tough call.
Mo-rating: 7/10
Best MOment: THAT ending
(massive spoiler alert!)

Tom's Hard-as-nails Mo


Vital Statistics

Name: Charles Bronson
From: Bronson
Actor: Tom Hardy
MeMOrable Quote: “My name’s Charles Bronson. And all my life, I wanted to be famous. I knew I was made for better things. I had a calling. I just didn’t know what as. I wasn’t singing. Can’t fuckin act. Running out of choices really, don’t we?”
Style of Mo: Connoisseur
Mo Maintenance: The Monopoly Man ain't got nothin on this bad boy.
Mo-rating: 9/10
Best MOment: You just pissed on a gypsy

Sunday, 28 November 2010

The American

Why so serious?

I'm normally adverse to most kind of thrillers these days. Ever since Bourne's shown up on the scene, everyone thinks spies and assassins should look like average joes but secretly be emotionless killing machines. Even Bond's latest reincarnation is sticking to the formula (but I'll let them have Casino Royale).

The American looked no different, with a humourless assassin (Clooney) hiding out in a generic looking European village. And with this I was ready to hate the film, but half way through I involuntarily became emotionally invested in The American. I can only put this down to the film's reluctance to play along with the stereotypical thiller rules: the kills are messy, the romance is shallow but believable, and the protagonist is morally questionable.

It almost certainly has it flaws; we never quite see underneath Clooney's mask - who is this man? Why is he incapable of trust? Why the butterfly fetish? It just leaves too many questions, making the film feel unsatisfying for the most part. I also think marketing this film as a Bourne-a-like might do the film more harm than good, as the action is fairly limited and unglorified.

But yes, I liked it.