Monday, 21 February 2011

DVD Cover Dungeon

On the rare occasion that I do decide to buy a DVD, I do like to think rather carefully about my purchase as shelf space is a valuable commodity in my room. But earlier tonight I suddenly realised that I loved Noah Baumbach's indie sleeper Greenberg at the cinema, so I looked it up online. What I found was this rather garish and completely misleading DVD cover.

Seriously, what the FUCK is that?

Firstly, having Ben Stiller's name in ridiculously BIG font makes the film seem rather self-conscious about itself - 'the plot isn't going to interest anyone, but the star might!' The quotes are also fucking retarded - "I LOVE THIS MOVIE" - do you A. O. Scott? I don't really know who you are so please stop clogging up valuable Greta Gerwig space - Thanks. And the picture makes me want to cringe until my face implodes. This is NOT a sweet love story. It's a story about a self-centred, egotistical prick who is completely oblivious to the fact that he's living in the past. I mean, what was wrong with the poster?

It made me think how many other decent indie films have fallen prey to the desperate marketing team of some dodgy distributor. Here are some other DVD covers that deserve to be kicked underneath the display stand at HMV:

Despite making the film look like Daddy Day Care, there's surprisingly no mention that the plot completely centres around his son dying of a wanking accident. And how was Bobcat Goldthwait involved in Donnie Darko exactly?

Apparently this film's quite good, but you wouldn't have guessed it from this sickly sweet cover. 'Oo look, its got a pink bow on it, so it'll be perfect for Mummy at Christmas.' FUCK YOU subliminal suggestiveness.

To be fair, this movie probably is quite bad.

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